See? We don't want to see that nastiness!! In what way could that possibly look better than plain text? If it doesn't have text then is it really adding to the quality of the page? What's the point of superfluous graphics that detract from the overall design?
(I must admit though that if humour was the intent then occassionally the designer succeeds)
Now for a foray into the realm of backgrounds.
-= Just trying to make a point =-
Most textured backgrounds are garish and REALLY REALLY UGLY!!!!!
(Note this one's numerous colour tones that make it pretty much unsuitable for public viewing. Nice tiled backgrounds are usually watermarked or contain very little variation in order to prevent a distraction such as this).
Not only that, they also make it much more difficult to read the text.
Superfluous animated gif
Some people deign to go one step further... They combine the bright flourescent pink (not this one, I couldn't take looking at it) textured background with a distinct background colour for the text via style sheets. What was the point of the background image in the first place?
Ahhh.. Much better. This is for those of you who design pages for 640x480 resolution. Since some people are viewing it at a higher resolution, the image repeats and looks fairly ridiculous (sorry to those of you with 640x480 res, you can't see this).
Now to write everything in italics!!!! WAHOO!!!! Is anyone still looking at this page? You have serious problems... Almost as many as me. :) I love smileys :) I don't like smiley icons... But they're not really as much of a design faux pas as the other stuff I have so far. Isn't it really tedious to read a large block of text in italics? What is the real purpose of this? Why do people do this? The simple answer to both of those questions is inbreeding. Yes the genetic imperfections that result from incest bring about these people that think that all text should be special (in addition to wanting to paint everything in the colours of the rainbow). Yes these people are the problem. Ok I really have to say more just so you get a better idea... :( This is sooooooo boring!!! ERGGGHHHHH!!!! Oh well... I suppose I brought it upon myself... I use too many ellipses. :) Hahahahaha!! I just felt like doing that in order to take up space. I need me meds. Note: This site condones neither incest nor the use of meds, unless the person is clinically insane like this webmaster. I feel like dancin' right now. Please release me from this misery!!! Now on to the worst possible thing that any person in the world can do on a website!!! (oh wait... There's one thing worse, but I'll get to that later)
Yes! That's right!! An animated GIF for a BACKGROUND!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! And look how terrible this one is in particular!! It has so many colours that it can't possible match anything (since black doesn't show up). If I ever see another website that uses this particular image I'm going to piss myself (get out the depends...). Superfluous animated gif 
Oh well... I'm pretty much done with that rant. Time to do some work...
Most of the images and the single script are courtesy (I'm too lazy to create ugly things that serve no purpose) of www.bellsnwhistles.com (they have some non-ugly stuff too!)